I dont get it.

Why do I feel this way? I'm actually, "SCARED" to be.. 

I dont know. Im terrified. Maybe it's because of my insecurities. Maybe it's because somewhere I know Im gonna get hurt again. It's hard for me to trust nowadays. I dont want to be Mrs. Drama Queen here. Coz I gave up that title years ago. Nor do I want it ever again. 

But this seems so hard and I don't know why it has a reason to be. Is this a defense trick I tought myself to do. A way to protect me from any more crap. But let me get it clear. I am happy. 

You've made me happier than Ive been in awhile. My friends still take the top spot though. But you get what I mean. I just dont know if its a good idea to trust you anymore. I dont know. Its hard okay? Going with the flow is difficult when you think its gonna lead you somewhere that could possibly hurt you. I know you've proven that you want me. But I think we both know that anything can happen 

Am I running away? Maybe. 

          

xox

Araa